In part 1 of "Are Expectations Common Causes of Divorce" we discussed one important key to save your marriage as the key of expectations. We identified that key as his and her expectations. We also determined the bill of goods being sold during courtship are fulfilled less than 50% of the time.

In Part 2 we discussed what her expectations are for her husband. In this Part 3 of  common causes of divorce we will discover what the husbands expectations are for his wife we will give depth and definition to his expectations.

These expectations are what he feels he wants and needs to be happy. He thinks he will be/is unhappy because his expectations are not being met. This part might be a discussion for another time.

He feels and experiences these expectations daily and he may not even be aware of them, but he must become aware of them if you want to save your marriage.

Why must you know what these expectations are? Because you cannot discuss them with your wife if you do not know what they are. It is imperative you discuss your expectations if you want to stop a divorce from happening.

Understanding Your Own Expectations

A Husband's Expectations of His Wife

1.  He wants her to stay sexy, young, beautiful, interesting and exciting as when they started dating

Face it. Guys are visual. No matter how old he may become he is still looking through the eyes of a 20 year old. He thinks he never ages and he does not want her aging either. He needs and wants physical contact, i.e. sex more than she does, normally.

She needs and wants things like thoughtfulness, conversation, understanding, kindness, compliments and affection. She needs for him to think she is just as beautiful at 80 as she was at 18. And she needs to be  told and shown she is beautiful.

All of this takes work on his part and he is lazy by nature. If she stopped being all those things he expects it is because he does not realize she stopped because he stopped doing the things she needs to be sexy and exciting for him.

2.  He needs freedom from domestic demands to do what he loves doing

Guys need off time. Time away from the hub bub of family life for guy things. Guys need guy time with guys. If his wife understands this need and volunteers to give him this space willingly he will be supportive of her emotional needs in return.

3. To be complemented and encouraged about everything he does, have done or ever will do

Men need those pats on the back and the butt to keep going. He does the things he does for his wife and children. He provides nice things because she likes them, not because he needs them. He needs to be acknowledged for his untiring efforts to give these things to the one he loves.

But, (and this is a big but) he will not hint around like his wife does to get those “atta boys”. That is just plain not manly.

If she is wise and follows her instincts, she will give him praise for even the smallest of accomplishments. “Thank you dear for taking the garbage out.” “Thank you for tending little Suzy while I finished the dishes.”

Then watch how willingly he meets her emotional needs.

4.  Total and complete support for whatever he values in life

His values are much like his wife's are. He learned them from his parents and other authoritative figures. If his father was kind and respectful of his mother so will he be to his wife.

If his father was mean, nasty, disrespectful or abusive he will think such behavior is normal family life. If his wife came from a kind loving family life her idea of normal family life will be drastically different. You can expect a major riff to develop in this relationship.

These are only examples of differences in relationships which can cause deep level stress and produce causes of divorce if the husbands and wives cannot connect on a communication level to discuss the needs and wants of each other.

In the end, he expects to have his values respected because they are his values. He stole them fair and square.

Remember, happiness is not getting what you want, it is wanting what you have.

In the best of marriage troubles do not leave, people do.

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